If you feel securely attached and want the relationship to continue, you’re more likely to do the work required to make it last. Research from 2010 looking at commitment in romantic relationships suggested that commitment is an effort to secure romantic attachment.įurthermore, feelings of commitment can develop as a response to feelings of worry or fear over losing a partner. Not wanting to make plans sometimes suggests that you aren’t really interested in the person you’re dating, especially if you’re holding out for the possibility of better plans.īut when you do like that person and enjoy their company but still feel anxious, the issue may be commitment. You don’t want to make plansĭo you avoid making plans for a Friday night date until Friday morning?ĭo you give vague replies like, “Maybe! I’ll let you know” or “Let me see how the week goes” when the person you’re dating tries to make plans?ĭoes thinking about plans you’ve already made stress you out so much that you end up wanting to cancel them? Questioning the relationship constantly, however, to the point where it interferes with the relationship or causes you emotional distress, could suggest commitment fears. It’s pretty normal to ask yourself questions like these from time to time, especially if you really care about someone and don’t want to lose them. Even so, you can’t stop asking yourself things like: You have strong feelings for your partner, feel connected and attached, and enjoy spending time together. Maybe you do think about the future of your relationship. You spend a lot of time questioning the relationship But a true inability or unwillingness to think about the next stage of a relationship could suggest a fear of commitment, especially if this is a pattern in your relationships. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy what you have now with a partner. But some people don’t give the future any thought at all - and they don’t want to.
If they can’t see a future, they might end the relationship and move on. You don’t think about the future of the relationshipĪt some point in a relationship, most people spend at least a little time thinking about whether the person they’re dating would make a good long-term match. You might have one reason for this, or you might have several.īut if you consistently feel the need to end things when relationships start moving past the casual stage, even though you like the person you’re seeing, you may have some unresolved commitment fears. Wanting to date casually and avoid serious relationships doesn’t automatically mean you’re afraid of commitment.
Here are some signs that may offer some clarity: You don ’t want to date seriously It’s not always easy to recognize when a pattern of short-lived relationships represents bad dating luck or when it indicates something more significant.
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